< ResLife Homepage | Archives >

"Dropping Out of Your Child's Race"

College is one hurdle in life; one hurdle out of many. Just like real hurdles, hopping over one is just the beginning of hopping over another. You have sent your child on their way, and they hit the ground running into this new exciting semester. But you and I both know that they won’t be running long before they hit that next hurdle, except this time they will be hopping over on their own. Some of you will see your children jump hurdle after hurdle. Some of you will watch your children jump short or snag a foot when they were almost over—and they will fall down and get a little scraped up.Thank goodness for that!

Mom and Dad, it is going to be okay. College is an institution for learning, but we must remember that not all of this learning happens by reading a book or attending a lecture. Your child is about to learn a whole slew of life long lessons. Whether they learn them via observation or “the hard way” is up to them and there is little that you can do about it now.

So I plead to you, Mom and Dad, to be supportive and always be honest about how you feel, but don’t help your child jump anymore hurdles (or not nearly as many anyway). I’m sure that you know just as well as I do that when you miss a hurdle, all you have to do is stand back up and try again. This is their opportunity to have a friendly environment in which to learn what dusting yourself off really means. RA’s and Hall Directors, the counseling center, friends, class mates, and all of the friendly TTU Faculty members—these people are watching and observing and will be there, but only to lend guidance. Eventually, the choice and the effort is still left up to the student to stand back up, dust themselves off and make another go at it.

 

If your child is struggling, don’t be angry. Don’t be angry that they aren’t performing as well as you think they should. Don’t be angry because someone hasn’t helped them. Don’t be angry because it seems that someone is making things harder than they need to be. Instead, be supportive! There are people just waiting for someone to ask for help. Urge your child to go find help if they need it! Solving their own problems will give them a higher confidence level and help mold them into self-sustaining adults (scary thought?). ?

Anyways, to sum things up… There’s no way that you can supervise your child all the time anymore. You are going to have to leave a lot of decisions up to them whether you like it or not! But the more you fight that realization, the harder it is for them to accept the responsibility of their own education.

Check out the next page for a sampler of some services offered on campus for free!